I lived with my aunt and uncle in Chicago for X months* in 2007... and about 2 weeks in 2008. I was not a fan of the weather, the pizza, or the L. I happily worked for my uncle's company until I left for Los Angeles. My aunt and uncle were very unhappy when I told them in early/mid November that I was leaving 1/12/08, but my flight was booked and it was on. They were going to be away in Europe and Africa from 12/15-12/30, but I was to run the office until I went home to NJ from 12/20-1/2. I will spare you all of the horrible details of being treated like a second class citizen, and skip right to the torture.
11/16/07
Dinner time:
The issue comes up of where I will stay when my cousins come home from college for winter break. My aunt and uncle tell me that I will need to stay with a friend and rent a car when I return in January because there will not be room or a car for me. I have no problem with this.
Rental car reserved for Jan 2-10, 2008
Pick-up and drop off ORD
$237.41
Pick-up and drop off ORD
$237.41
11/30/07
Dinner time:
I am told that in order to save me the responsibility of locking and alarming my family's home, I will have to stay with a friend (the wonderful Courtney, who is my dad's girlfriend's daughter) when they leave for vacation. I will need to commute from downtown in order to run the office, but I will still have use of the Volvo.
12/14/07
Friday
4:00pm
I am told that I will need to rent a car effective 12/15 in order to save me the responsibility of having a car stolen or damaged in Wicker Park, where I will be staying after I am locked out of the house. This is an unexpected expense...
5:30pm
I leave work and deposit $1857.02 into my checking account.
Balance before deposit: $492.91
Balance before deposit: $492.91
6:00pm
I am told it is mandatory that I am in the office on 1/2. I had made it known way back when that I planned to do birthday brunch on 1/2 with my sister, Valerie, at Bubby's Pie Co. in Tribeca before flying out that day to be back in the office 1/3.
11:10pm
Rental car reserved for Dec 15-20, 2007
Pick up and drop off ORD
$125.77
Pick up and drop off ORD
$125.77
1:00am
Flight grudgingly changed after two bleary-eyed phone calls with Continental (the first lady hung up on me and almost made me cry). Now I have to fly back on New Year's Day.
$100 change fee
$120 difference in fare
$120 difference in fare
12/15
Saturday: Day 1 of the 4 worst days of my life
7:25am
I get an email from my aunt when I wake up with suggestions on car rentals (the same offers I selected from the night before).
I work out, shower, pack and clean, and get every last thread of my belongings out of sight so that the home-coming college heroes will feel as though they never left.
4:00pm
My uncle insists that that there is not enough room in the taxi for my bags, which there is, so I will have to ride to the airport, pick up my rental car, drive back to the suburbs to get my bags (from the trunk of the car I am not allowed to drive in the driveway of the house in which I am not allowed to stay), and then back to the city in time to be let into my friend's apartment before she has to go out to a work dinner. I quickly (in under 30 seconds) re-pack my overnight items into one bag in case I do not have time to go back until the next day. I am so lucky to be a natural packer.
The cabby's odor makes me sick to my stomach.
The snow starts to fall.
5:00pm
We arrive at the international terminal and everyone exits the cab. Rather than being dropped at the car rental location or even the shuttle bus stop, I have to get out with them and trudge through the terminal and outside in the snow to wait for the shuttle bus.
The driver is a wealthy property owner from Hawaii and only comes to Chicago on occasion to enjoy the culture... and drive the airport shuttle? The details are blurry, but at the time, I KNOW I believed him.
I am told that my debit card has insufficient funds to pay for both the rental car and the hold required to rent a car. Coincidentally, his hold amount is almost exactly the same as the amount I debited when changing my airline ticket at 1am...
I am standing in Budget with my phone plugged into the wall because OF COURSE it is about to die. My aunt (who believed I did it my way because I didn't trust her rental car suggestions) grudgingly offers to charge the rental to their credit card. This is not allowed because the cardholder must be physically present with the physical card in order to physically rent a physical vehicle.
6:30pm
I take the shuttle back to the terminal and trudge back through the airport to find the L. I pay for my ticket in change to get rid of some of the 4lbs of coins in my bag.
We're riding along and in between losing reception, I'm trying to reach Courtney but she's not picking up... and my phone is beeping low battery. The train comes to a stop. Why? Because there is construction and we will all have to walk 3 blocks in what is now a legitimate blizzard to a bus that will take everyone to another train. I can't reach Court and my battery is just about dead, so when I eventually arrive at destination unknown, I will have nowhere to deposit my belongings or rest my weary head.
8:00pm
Finally, I hear from Court in the nick of time and meet her who knows where to get the keys. I flag down a cab and haul my soaking wet, frozen self into the backseat. On it's last dying breath, my phone alerts me to a text message from my uncle. I am allowed to use the Volvo.
9:00pm
I whine on the phone to my mom.. or cry... or whatever and then pass out for 12 hours after eating out of this world german chocolate cake from Earwax on N. Milwaukee.
12/16/08
Sunday: Day 2 of the 4 worst days of my life
11:00am
Courtney never came home, but we're supposed to go get the car and go to an Indian Temple so taht she can complete a class assignment. So I now have to find my way alone in the well below freezing morning to meet up with her and her friend so that we can then take 3 trains and then wait in 23 degree, 20 mph wind for a taxi to get to the Volvo which is covered in a foot and a half of snow. After 10 minutes, I finally have the car clear enough to grab a change of clothing and some blankets from the trunk so that we can stop the hypothermia.
4:00pm
We get to the Indian Temple somewhere south of the city and after a very interesting shoe-free tour, we eat a big pile of super cheap vegetarian Indian food.
9:00pm
We finally get back to the city and find a place to park right across the street from Court's place. We check and double check the signs to make sure that it's really legal, and then head inside with about 1,000 lbs of my stuff. I am feeling happy that I found such a close spot that I can see from the window.
I passsss out cold.
12/17/07
Monday: Day 3 of the 4 worst days of my life
7:00am
I look outside to check on the Volvo and there are NO CARS! This can't be happening, is this really happening???
So I called the parking patrol and based on where the car was parked, they can tell me that it was on a snow route and was taken to impound lot 7 or whatever. I ask them how I can get the car back, and the answer is pretty much the exact opposite of anything you would ever want to hear at that moment. The converstation went something like this:
How can I get the car back?
Are you the owner of the vehicle?
No, I'm their niece.
Is your last name the same as the owner's last name?
No.
Well we need the owner to release the car to you.
Oh my god, thats impossible, the owner is in Europe on vacation for two weeks.
So I go on to find out that the only way I can have the car released to me is:
A-Get a letter from the owner stating:
my name
their name
the make model, year
plate #, VIN #
and that they release the car to me.
B-this letter must be signed and notarized
C-pay the charge for towing and storage in cash
$150 + $10 for the first 3 days and then about $50 a day after that.
The $30 parking ticket comes later.
Well what am I going to do? I have to get to the office, so again, I take 3 trains and then a taxi to my family's house... clear off and steal their other car, call my mom and completely break down crying, and finally make it to the office.
10:00am
Like any normal human being, the next thing I think to do is look for booze. I found vodka and champagne, and was only barely able to control my burning desire to be drunk. I had important things to do first. I found a copy of my uncle's driver's license, vehicle registration information, and even ownership documents. I put this together with my pay stubs showing that I work for the same company, and some mail with my name and my family's address. And I write up a letter.
10:30am
I get the call. My uncle. He wants to know where I've been, because I am two hours late to work. I tell him that I've had a kind of disastrous morning, but that I'm here now and I'm working. He wants to know why my morning was so bad. I ask him if I can tell him later. No, he wants to know if something happened to the car. Again, the crying. He hands the phone off to my aunt who is asking me what has to happen, and I can hear my uncle shrieking in the background.
So my aunt tells me to write a letter, sign her name, and ask the notary in the office down the hall to notarize it for me. So that's what I did. Then I work all day, and in between getting yelled at and crying and being given the same spreadsheet to reformat 10 times in a row and crying some more, all I can think about is getting drunk.
At some point maybe I eat a bagel from the office freezer but food is definitely not at the top of my list right now.
5:30pm
Finally, it's time to leave and I am SO ready to be drunk. I take my champagne in its shiny gift bag and the vodka in another, I'm wearing two pairs of socks, pants, boots, a down jacket and a northface shell, two hoods, and gloves and I drop the other car back off at their house.
I am really feeling like a homeless person at this point because I'm walking the streets with all the clothing I have, bags of booze, I haven't really eaten at all, I certainly haven't showered since Saturday, and once I get to the station and get on the train, I still don't know where I am going.
So, I'm freezing my ass off waiting for that train... it's about 15 degrees now because the sun is down. I'm like, what can I do to keep warm? I know, I can act like a complete and utter lunatic and run laps around the Kenilworth train station. So I do that for about 4o minutes until the train comes.
I decide that it's only costing me $10 to leave the car in the pound, so better to leave it there and get hammered. It's night time and I'm a mess. Some nice guy shows me how to get from the station to the blue line, and I am on my way. I get up to Courtney's and I make the announcement that we are drinking tonight.
And we drink and it is fantastic. It is everything anyone ever wanted drinking to be
It's pure joy, just lovely, this must be what heaven is like.
Smoke the hookah... eat 3 bites of some delivery and pass out.
It's pure joy, just lovely, this must be what heaven is like.
Smoke the hookah... eat 3 bites of some delivery and pass out.
12/18/07
Tuesday: Day 4 of the 4 worst days of my life
7:00am
I'm feeling a little wobbly as I make my way to the bathroom and I'm wondering if I'm maybe still a little drunk. I know that the answer to that question is without a doubt, yes, when I find myself washing the front of my hair with shampoo over the sink. Somehow I got directions to the impound lot, which is in an area of town I have never been to, and I set out to find it.
It took me 2 trains, 1 bus, and 1 mile of walking in a bad area where no one shovels their sidewalks. When I finally get to the pound, the woman on the other side of the counter tells me that they can't release the car to me because the letter is not from the owner of the car, it's from his wife.
At that point I don't know what to do. That's not like, I don't know what to do to solve this situation, that's like, I don't know how to blink, I don't know how to move, I don't know how to speak. If breathing weren't involuntary functions, I probably wouldn't know how to do that either. I have no idea where I am, I have no idea how to get to the office from here.
I'm just staring at this lady with my mouth hanging open. Finally I manage to tell her that I don't know what to do. She says that I need to go get another letter... if only it were that easy. I tell her that I needed to see the supervisor. It took about two hours of finagling and this poor lady even had to talk to my mom on the phone, but finally she decided that she was going to do whatever it took to get me that car.
Now, just so you know, there are signs in that little trailer that let you know that you are being recorded on video and audio tape. This supervisor lady pulls me close and says to me, come in the back so that they can't hear us. So she takes me into a room and tells me the plan.
This is what we're going to do.
You're going to white out "my husband," so that it just reads:
Vehicle belonging to "Uncle's Name"
Then you're going to sign his name
Fax it to the notary, and have her fax it back.
Then I'm going to give you the car.
You better not be a reporter.
You're going to white out "my husband," so that it just reads:
Vehicle belonging to "Uncle's Name"
Then you're going to sign his name
Fax it to the notary, and have her fax it back.
Then I'm going to give you the car.
You better not be a reporter.
So that's what we did. And I got the car back. I would have written her a love letter but I didn't want there to be any evidence that she was breakin the law, breakin the law.
And then I went 10 minutes in the wrong direction and sat in traffic for a while.
And I ignored a few "unavailable" phone calls (presumably international).
12:30pm
I stopped at the store to get some coffee and flowers for the notary who totally broke the law twice for me.
4:30pm
I forwarded the phones to my cell and left early. There was nothing left to do because I finished it ahead of schedule, and Courtney and I wanted to go to a museum and dinner. We went to Quartino, which I highly recommend for first dates and pre-gaming with friends.
10:00pm
I find a legal parking spot around the corner from Courtney's apt, and I call the police to make sure it's legal. Then I go into the bar on teh corner to make sure it's legal. Then I call city information to make sure it's legal. So far so good.
I pack up all my stuff for my trip home and set it by the door.
1:00am
Totally and completely drained, I go to bed around... but I only sleep for about 2 hours. I wake up and I'm freaking out thinking I might die because I'm seeing this white light like a lighthouse beam in both eyes and it wont go away whether my eyes are open or closed.
3:00am
I call my mom, she is not too pleased that I am calling her repeatedly at 5 in the morning, but she's my mom, so she tries to calm me down.
4:30am
I write this email to my aunt:
Right now I can't sleep because I'm scared that I might die tomorrow because of all the bad things that have happened. Also, both of my eyes are very itchy, and ive never had pink eye so I don't know if I have it. I might need a number to a doctor in case I have to go there during lunch. I do remember where Evan's dr is, but they probably don't see new 25 year old patients afflicted with temporary hypocondria.
Maybe you could call me if you get this soon? I'm hoping to fall asleep, but I'm not sure that's happening. If you can't, we will be in touch later.
Thanks
Maybe you could call me if you get this soon? I'm hoping to fall asleep, but I'm not sure that's happening. If you can't, we will be in touch later.
Thanks
12/19/07
Wednesday
6:30am
I get up, dressed and take all my things outside. I'm walking down the street and I can see the corner... and I can see partway down the block. And there are no cars. And I can see more... no cars, and just as im about to lay down in the middle of the road (not that there are any cars at this hour), I see the beautiful Volvo all alone, just where I left it. The relief is overwhelming.
So I lug my stuff over and load it into the car.
7:30am
I am in the office with starbucks and headed down to the gym for a mini-workout to get my blood flowing and then, hurray, my first shower since SATURDAY! Unbelievable... the warm water felt so good on my dirty, tired, perpetually cold and worn out body.
12:00pm
Get car washed to remove impound lot markings
Call doctors office for emergency xanax prescription in order to get myself on an airplane.
Drop car back in aunt and uncle's driveway, taxi back to office
5:30pm
I finally lock up the office and bring my bags down to the taxi that is taking me to the airport. We stop at CVS so that I can get my Rx, then we stop at whole foods so that I can get some food, finally.
6:30pm
I get to the airport and find out that my flight is delayed, so I pop a pill and wash it down with a beer at one of the airport bars. When I finally get on the plane, there is a strange noise and the captain gets on the mic and announces that in case we hear or see anything funny, it's just that they are going to have to start the left engine with some machine and then start the right engine from the left. But don't be alarmed.
UM, are you serious? I'm alarmed. I'm up and out of my seat and asking this flight attendant how common that is and all kinds of other questions. She's finding this pretty annoying until I tell her that I've just had the worst week of my life and I'm afraid I'm going to die. Then she gave me a pep talk like none other about being a stronger person and learning and growing and having faith. So I sat back down and I let them take me home to New Jersey in their machine-started plane with a broken-sounding engine.
New ticket $179.40
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